yearning for the truth,still

everlong

2012-02-27T22:42:00.001+08:00

Come down

And waste away with me

Down with me

Slow how

You wanted it to be

I'm over my head

Out of her head she sang

And I wonder

when I sing along with you

If everything could ever feel this real forever

If anything could ever be this good again

The only thing I'll ever ask of you

You've got to promise not to stop when I say when

She sang

Breathe out

So I can breathe you in

Hold you in

And now

I know you've always been

Out of your head

Out of my head I sang.

i won't lie and say a part of me

doesn't look forward to seeing you.

and maybe going back to sqaure 1 isn't so bad?

square 1?

2012-02-25T23:56:00.001+08:00

"Maybe we're allotted a certain number of tears per man and I've used up mine."

when will this dreaded feeling end?

MOFO.

2012-02-24T23:07:00.000+08:00

All these things I hate revolve around me

Just back off before i snap

Once more you tell those lies to me

Why can't you just be straight up with honesty

the truth may kill,

but after what i saw i think

i made a trip to hell and back

so the truth won't do much damage

trust me.

Bitch please

2012-02-22T00:34:00.000+08:00

One of these days the ground

will drop out from beneath

your feet

One of these days your heart

will stop and play its final

beat

One of these days the clocks

will stop and time won't

mean a thing

But it's alright

Yet it's alright

I said it's alright

Easy for you to say

Your heart has never been broken

Your pride has never been stolen

Not yet not yet

One of these days

I bet your heart'll be broken

I bet your pride'll be stolen I'll bet I'll bet I'll bet I'll bet

One of these days

Bitch please
you don't know what i'm going through
you do not fucking judge me.

‎Thought when sober,said when drunk

2012-02-05T04:18:00.000+08:00

Now and then I think of when we were together

Like when you said you felt so happy you could die

I told myself that you were right for me

But felt so lonely in your company

But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness

Like resignation to the end

Always the end

So when we found that we could not make sense

Well you said that we would still be friends

But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened

And that we were nothing

And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger

And that feels so rough

No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records

And then change your number

I guess that I don't need that though

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

i still can't believe what you asked of me.

you may take away the items

but who the fuck is going to take away the memories.

asshole.

Things could be easier on me.

2012-02-02T00:39:00.000+08:00

Drowning in our own debris

Fool of thoughts as though we're free

Yes things could be easier.

Somedays i wonder if i try too hard

or i don't even try at all?

It's only human to look at others

and envy the fact that things

are easier for them.

And wonder why

why not,me?

It's not the dissapointment that comes from

the people who matter to you that will bring you down.

it's you being dissapointed with yourself

that can bring you down so bad

you may not what it feels like to be uplifted.

For once things could be easier,no?

It may not be a worth experience

cause only when you are tested to your limits,

you end up learning more.

But for once,things could really be easier.

anomaly

2012-01-22T00:26:00.001+08:00

It gets harder everyday

and i can't seem to shake the pain.

Ever read or saw something that killed you inside.Like the moment you saw it you felt your gut drop and everything good that has happened in your life never really mattered?
Everything wasgoing good till i came across that.As if it was meant to hurt me and ruin my whole day.
Yes i was going fine till i stumbled across that.And now practically my whole day has been ruined.
And you know what's the worst part i read it again and again,hoping to find a hint of a lie in your words ; in vain.

There have been many things that have broke me down and brought me to my knees.Despite all i've been through i always,always found a way to go back to normal,to function like nothing happened.Cos that's the way i am or rather the way i was.Yes,was,cos i always found a way to find an inner strength of sorts to pull me out of my misery.But this,this is too overwhelming.Too much.And i've drained every last bit of hope and faith only to find that i'm stuck,in this abyss.

Maybe i'll go back to being normal,but what's the use?The previous year was nothing but a struggle.A struggle of crying in silence and putting up a facade.I brought in the new year thinking maybe,just maybe this year would be a bit better.But look where that left me.I'm a fool.I never realize that the moment i overcome one obstacle i'm always thrown a bigger one.And now i'm facing not one but maybe even 3 obstacles.Obstacles that could possibly ruin my future with one small wrong move.

I'm tired.Tired of waiting for better days.Tired of hoping for better days.And tired of expecting better days only to be dissapointed.

escape

2012-01-17T02:23:00.001+08:00

convos I have with my mum when she wakes up and asks me to sleep.
mum : nandu,what time already?
me : err
mum : 2.15 already go sleep
me : ah
mum : mmmm.

WIN!

why?

2012-01-12T09:53:00.001+08:00

cos i don't want to be the person you run back to when you need something or want something.
and cos well fuck you.

pffts

2012-01-11T10:53:00.001+08:00

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do
I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
I'd never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No I don't want to fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
No I don't want to fall in love (this girl is only gonna break your heart)
With you
With you (this girl is only gonna break your heart)

What a wicked game you played to make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do to make me dream of you.
-
I guess I never learn.

words that define you

2012-01-09T13:52:00.001+08:00

"Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking
As you're sliding off your dress?

Then think of what you did
And how I hope to God he was worth it
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing
As your fingers touch your skin

I've got more wit, a better kiss
Hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet
Sweetie, you had me."

"I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied"
-
tsk.

when will I see your face again

2012-01-08T19:51:00.001+08:00

"it sucks when all you're left with is a shoebox of pictures,letters and ticket stubs.full of memories of events you'll never get back."

New year

2012-01-02T01:48:00.000+08:00

And I know that I have got to

Find a way to get on with my life.

a new year.and a brand new start.

i hope.

but i have to settle some scores first,

overcome my fears,problems.

finish it all and then start it new.

and do it all with a smile.

let it go.

2011-12-31T11:32:00.001+08:00

Still got shades of your heart left in my soul
I'm struggling to let this love go
I stole the taste of your lips left in my mouth
I know you more than anyone could know.
-
I'm tired of ending up here,every single time.how did you do it with such ease?why can't I?

alone

2011-12-25T12:02:00.001+08:00

fuck this ah.i give up.
at the end of the day,nobody has your back
nofuckingbody!
even if they did it doesn't take them 1 second to turn bak and ask you to return the favor.the world is full of selfish people.
how could have I not seen this earlier.

fuck 26th.

2011-12-24T01:39:00.001+08:00

ever dreaded your own birthday?
yes I'm dreading mine,and it's just around the corner.
I'm dreading it cos the special people I spent it with last year and the year before and all aren't with me now.
yes to me a person or in this case people can change how I feel.even on my special day.

FML

2011-12-20T00:11:00.000+08:00

Can you lie next to her

And give her your heart, your heart

As well as your body

And can you lie next to her

And confess your love, your love

As well as your folly

And can you kneel before the king

And say I'm clean, I'm clean

But tell me now, where was my fault

In loving you with my whole heart

Oh tell me now, where was my fault

In loving you with my whole heart

A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage

You did not think when you sent me to the brink, the brink

You desired my attention but denied my affections, my affections.

and every night i think

why me.

why.

gone

2011-12-18T02:02:00.002+08:00

and so easily.

with those few words you turned

my world upside down.

yes it was wrong of me to even think
things can work out again.

but now, after whatever you said

everthing came crashing down.

and now i've got nothing to hope for.

you were the one person i always fought for.

and this time i have to take a step back

cos it's foolish to fight a losing battle.

in a breakup there is always one party
that loses out or gets affected more.
and it sucks to know that i'm
the one who was at the losing end
all this while.

paradise

2011-12-09T04:53:00.000+08:00

When she was just a girl,

She expected the world,

But it flew away from her reach,

And bullets catch in her teeth.

Life goes on,

It gets so heavy,

The wheel breaks the butterfly.

Every tear, a waterfall.

In the night, the stormy night,

She closed her eyes.

In the night,

The stormy night,

Away she flied.

She dreamed of para-para-paradise,

Para-para-paradise,

Para-para-paradise.

Cos somedays reality gets pretty ugly,

and all you have to turn to are your fantasies and dreams.

I'd rather live in my lucid dreams than live this nasty reality.

december

2011-12-06T23:05:00.000+08:00

Some days i wonder how i can handle so much
and not just lose it
and go beserk.
i thank my soul,spirit,mind whatever for staying with me
and not losing it.
Yes my December started off in the worst way.
it sucks,cos it's my birthday month and now i dread it.
fucking shit.

crumbling

2011-12-06T00:23:00.001+08:00

I could feel a hot one taking me down
For a moment, I could feel the force
Fainted to the point of tears
And you were holding on to make a point
What's the point?

-

I've seen my life going down the drain before.
and I had the courage to save it,
before i lost it all.
if I had the courage before I
hope,no I pray I still have the courage to save what's left.

melancholic

2011-11-30T22:21:00.001+08:00

i know silence is no crime
but I just wish I could hear you fill it up one more time...

this is fucking unfair I tell you.
fucking unfair

family

2011-11-29T02:35:00.001+08:00

you know sometimes we shouldn't only be thankful we have a significant other.cos once your partner leaves you you are left with nobody.
I would never say that.really
you know why?
cos I know my family has got
my back,any day.yes and that's why no matter what shit temper I show them I love them the most.

drunken words are sober thoughts,well these are my sober thoughts then.

burnt

2011-11-27T17:23:00.000+08:00

Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to

Got somebody here but I want you

Cause the feeling ain't the same find myself

Callin' her your name

Ladies tell me do you understand?

Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?

It's the way I feel

I know I made a mistake

Now it's too late

I know she ain't coming back

What I gotta do now

To get my shorty back

Oh oh oh oh

Man I don't know what I'm gonna do

Without my boo

You've been gone for too long

It's been fifty-eleven days, um-teen hours

I'mma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)

I'm twisted cause one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on

On the other side I wanna break down and cry

I'm twisted cause one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on

On the other side I wanna break down and cry.

screwed

2011-11-25T16:04:00.001+08:00

yes,you have screwed me over.ive never felt so alone yet I don't want to let anyone in.

and I'm sorry,you are nice,awesome,good.but the truth is this wasn't meant to go anywhere ever since it started.

words are only words?

2011-11-22T18:12:00.001+08:00

"You isolate yourself physically because you feel so isolated inside; surrounded by people, you are still alone, because you have been abandoned by that one person who made you feel somehow less alone.

English is also missing a word for how it feels when you know that person has moved on so quickly. When you find out you weren’t as important as you thought you were. When you realize that they were acting selfishly instead of caring about you, or when you understand that you didn’t really come into it at all for them, they were just doing what they needed to do. "

story of my life

2011-11-21T09:34:00.000+08:00

And she fights for her life

as she puts on her coat

And she fights for her life on the train

She looks at the rain

as it pours

And she fights for her life

as she goes in a store

with a thought she has caught

by a thread

she pays for the bread

and she goes...

Nobody knows.

In my pensieve of memories

you will be.

For that is where you'll find me

happy,sad and merry.

L

2011-11-10T04:52:00.001+08:00

Remember turning on the night
and moving through the morning light
remember how it was with you
remember how you pulled me through

I remember <3

and I will never ever forget

♥♥

2011-11-08T02:57:00.000+08:00

And I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes,

But if the silence takes you then I hope it takes me too.

So brown eyes I hold you near, 'cause you're the only song I want to hear

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere.

Where soul meets body.

♥

thespian

2011-11-07T02:37:00.001+08:00

I would rather hold it in than let the world know.
don't utter a single word to a soul
never utter a single word to a soul.
this goes with you,only you.
cos what they know they will use to break you.

L

2011-11-05T09:14:00.001+08:00

At least the quiet nights are easier than these sunny empty days.
'Cause at least when I'm sleeping I can dream of you keeping me safe.
-
it's sad when you are beat,physically.
but you end up tossing and turning in bed cos you can't stop yourself from thinking about things that you should never be thinking about.

no way out

2011-11-03T00:22:00.001+08:00

never felt more like a failure.
so many regrets.crying over spilled milk will bring you nowhere.

how now?how?
where are you going,what are you going to do?

L

2011-10-29T09:37:00.001+08:00

If I could paint your picture
I'd paint you as the sea
I'd let your arms become the tide

If I could fall into you
I'd let you swallow me
So I could see you from inside

If I could break a promise
I'd tell a thousand lies
To have you look at me again

But your heart is empty of me,
I see it in your eyes,
It wasn't meant for me to win.

- wishing for the impossible,gets you nowhere.

Tunes for a rainy night

2011-10-26T01:22:00.000+08:00

So basically i've actually go a playlist just for songs i looove to listen to when it's raining.(yes i'm unique like that)
it's just that certain music go with this weather.

1. For the Widows in Paradise, for the Fatherless in Ypsilanti- Sufjan Stevens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59BRCOiQVKI

Honey and the Moon - Joseph Arthur

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeg9Af7q9Jw

Dice - Finley Quaye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOiDfY3i8Ac

By Your Side - Sade

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8QJmI_V3j4

I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rePcHxFJIuU

Breakdown - Jack Johnson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4O7ufx9D_s

Better Together - Jack Johnson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u57d4_b_YgI

Reasons To Love You - Meiko

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0mc1rQG7Uc

I want you - Kings of Leon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6XekXb0iX4

10.

black coffee - All Saints

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCc4eLOZCw4

11.

Love Fool - Olivia Ong (Cover)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OE9JDrW_Yg

12.

Strange and Beautiful (I'll Put a Spell On You) - Aqualung

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYgBoJRi9uk

13.

Starlight - Muse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pgum6OT_VH8&ob=av2n

14.

Lost Without U - Robin Thicke

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DdCoNbbRvQ&ob=av2e

15.

On Melancholy Hill - Gorillaz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04mfKJWDSzI&ob=av3e

16.

Too Much to Ask - Arctic Monkeys

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLS_CAzJCwQ

All you need for a rainy night.with a hot cuppa,a book and a thick quilt.

skips skips skips!

2011-10-24T02:24:00.001+08:00

so come on spin me around
I don't wanna go home
cos when you hold me like this
you know my heart skips skips a beat
and when you hold me like this
that's when my heart skips skips a beat.

:D :D

:/

2011-10-20T08:26:00.001+08:00

But right now,
I wish I could follow you
to the shores
of freedom,
where no one lives.
-
i really wish I could sometimes :(

:'(

2011-10-18T18:42:00.001+08:00

Kills me to know I couldn't be there
when I should have been.

whoop whoop

2011-10-18T03:51:00.000+08:00

Once I throw on this bow chicka wow wow
Whatchu gonna say
You act like you gon leave
But I know that you gon’ stay

whyyyyy

2011-10-16T22:11:00.002+08:00

It's okay if other's mind fuck you,

cos it's easy to get away .

But when you mind fuck yourself,

you're in for hell.

Stop messing with your head,Nandini.

love fool

2011-10-12T18:08:00.000+08:00

Love me,love me

say that you'll love me

Fool me,fool me

go on and fool me

Love me,love me

pretend that you love me.

Lead me lead me
just say that you need me.

reeeeeeeverse.

Flung

2011-10-12T01:26:00.001+08:00

Why don't you show me the little bit of spine
You've been saving for his mattress
I only want sympathy in the form of you

crawling into bed with me

;)

geram

2011-10-10T04:59:00.000+08:00

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

But that would be a problem only

if you couldn't imagine much. :D

whenever its cold

2011-10-09T04:18:00.003+08:00

I wish i would have you beside me

hugging me

to keep me warm.

whenever its cold

2011-10-09T04:18:00.000+08:00

I wish i would have you beside me

hugging me

to keep me warm.

way too numb?

2011-10-07T02:53:00.000+08:00

Make Yourself Cry « Thought Catalog

and i would love to follow the wise words of the link above,trust me.

but i just can't.

taken in too much to just let it all out.

numb.

period.

L

2011-10-06T03:23:00.000+08:00

So nice to see your face again
Tell me how long has it been
Since you've been here
You look so different than before
But still the person I adore
Frozen with fear
I'm out of love but I'll take it from the past
I'll let out words cause I'm sure It'll never last

And I've been saving
These last words for one last miracle
But now I'm not sure
I can't save you if
You don't let me
You just get me like I never
Been gotten before

So nice to see you face again

But tell me will this ever end?
Don't disappear.

if only it was easier to go on like nothing really happened

like nothing is really

bothering me at the back of my mind..

you

2011-10-02T02:43:00.000+08:00

intimate
funny
awesome
cute
terrific looking
sexy and you know it

but

INCOMPREHENSIBLE.

;)

2011-09-29T01:34:00.000+08:00

We ain't having sex
We're making moments
that will out last the world

And this ain't sex
This is a symbol
Of the true makings of love

:D

27's

2011-09-27T23:46:00.000+08:00

27/9/2011

It's amazing how small things like a date can bring you

a whole flashback of unwanted memories.

it would have been 4 years today.

and i guess i never forgot every 27 of a month.

you ruined the date for me.

thanks.

-

2011-09-27T04:23:00.000+08:00

Did you ever do this,

you think back on all the times you've had with someone

and you just replay it in your head over and over again

and you look for those first signs of trouble?

every other day.

as simple as that

2011-09-26T06:11:00.000+08:00

She’s a dirty dirty dancer dirty dirty dancer,
Never ever lonely
She’s a dirty dirty dancer, dirty dirty dancer
You’ll never be her only

as simple as that

2011-09-26T06:10:00.002+08:00

She’s a dirty dirty dancer dirty dirty dancer,
Never ever lonely
She’s a dirty dirty dancer, dirty dirty dancer
You’ll never be her only

anger issues

2011-09-25T07:00:00.001+08:00

and today I have proved to myself that I can not Hurt another when I am angry but at the cost of my ownself.

it's either or.you can never get the best of both worlds.

gloomy

2011-09-20T21:35:00.000+08:00

You never credit yourself so when you got older
It’s seems like you came back 10 times over
Now you’re sitting here in this damn corner
Looking through all your thoughts and looking over your shoulder

-
how to love?

hmm

2011-09-18T03:35:00.000+08:00

Love is a game you say play me and put me away

Get up in my face, pretty little girl come make my day

anger management

2011-09-17T15:11:00.001+08:00

ever got so angry that you just couldn't bother anymore.couldn't bother about the good,bad or the ugly.nothing mattered.a person could say fuck you to your face but it wouldn't matter.

that's your breaking point.cos you're so numb nothing gets to you.

neither here nor there

2011-09-16T18:34:00.002+08:00

You're fooling yourself.

?

2011-09-15T16:52:00.001+08:00

Those flashing lights seem to cause a glare
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned from everywhere
She's bad and she knows
I think that she knows.

how now brown cow

2011-09-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

i would love for you to let go,

but that won't be fair to another individual.

when and how did my life ever get so complicated?

distance

2011-09-11T23:54:00.001+08:00

this distance,it's something you chose.and for some reason I feel it's cos of me,but I guess I will never know.

N

2011-09-09T23:04:00.000+08:00

Such a tease.

word

2011-09-04T20:25:00.000+08:00

N

2011-09-04T20:21:00.000+08:00

i wanna lean on you, get jan and dean on ya
it’s time to sway a little mass perception
i like your cheeky well, so mose and peaky and
i think the world could use a clear connection

this i know, yeah this i know! (take me home, well take me home)
this i know we not alone! (take me home, take me home)

when will this end

2011-09-03T22:29:00.000+08:00

At least the quiet nights are easier than these sunny empty days.
'Cause at least when I'm sleeping I can dream of you keeping me safe,
or of a Someday so far that when I asked you you'd finally stay.

re-offender

2011-09-01T02:23:00.000+08:00

2 faced,plastic,bitch.

I can't take this.Cos i am not the type who does not confront a person who has bad mouthed me to another.
I am pissed and as much as i have said "oh why care about what people think about you and all."This is getting to me.
well i care because i tried to be nice to you..i tried to show you that although i am a bitch at times i can be nice too..
And i guess it's getting to me because if i have tried and yet you still do not think it's good enough,then is it me?
No fucking way.

Some days i wish my anger would never get the better of me.i cannot even sleep now,cos i am so angry,i am literally burning with fury and yes i may look calm typing this out.But i know if i had time with you alone,you won't be alive the next minute to even say sorry to me.

mad?

2011-08-30T20:54:00.000+08:00

SUPER DUPER TRUE!click click

been there,done that,moved on.

cynic

2011-08-27T15:06:00.000+08:00

I guess that's why i have never ever thought of

dating any guy,after you.

and unfortunately i don't think i will

for many years to come.

you have made me a cynic once again

L

2011-08-24T23:34:00.000+08:00

I made the biggest mistake of reading your letters.

not cos of the endless 'i love you(s)'..or the other

sweet words.

What stung me most is that in each and every letter you

wrote to me,

you always added at the end

"Please don't ever leave me okay."

Well i guess i kept to my word and i never did,

and look at where that led me.

Dirty Little Secret

2011-08-22T00:08:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i wonder
what is it about me,that
keeps you fascinated,intrigued
and coming back for more.

void

2011-08-17T21:32:00.000+08:00

You know how you always tell yourself

that when something happens

you will be able to keep calm.

ever had it happen and realise that

you did everything else than keep calm?

I couldn't even approach you,

i kept myself blocked

by people,

because in a very very long time i saw you smiling and laughing

and i guess i didn;t want that to

fade away because of me.

message in a bottle.

2011-08-16T03:33:00.000+08:00

And I know that it's a wonderful world

But I can't feel it right now

Well I thought that I was doing well

But I just want to cry now

Well I know that it's a wonderful world

From the sky down to the sea

But I can only see it when you're here, here with me.

as much as you lead

2011-08-12T04:31:00.000+08:00

Thought Catalogue why i cannot love you

says a lot,explains even more

look around

2011-08-12T03:48:00.000+08:00

Would a kiss be too much to ask

When you fit me as Sunday's frozen pitch fits the thermos flask

It's a pity

It just hit me we can't go back

To the chest touching on the back

fuck,fuck,fuck

2011-08-09T19:51:00.000+08:00

Sick of their whining,

nagging,

constant negativity for life.

fucking hell

grow up and be happy

with something for once.

damnit.

L

2011-08-09T03:42:00.002+08:00

you told me you'd take care or yourself.
now i am caring about you,
when i fucking shouldn't
and now
everytime i wake up,i am wondering if you are feeling better.

sigh

2011-08-05T16:11:00.000+08:00

Out to sea
Is the only place I honestly
Can get myself some peace of mind
You know it's getting hard to fly

Cos if I have to go
In my heart you'll grow
And that's where you belong

-
So my nephew and cousin just left for aussie a couple of hours ago.
And yes,it broke every piece of my heart to send them of.
Considering that i always went to my cousin for advice on the weirdest and out of the world stuff and when i am down i'd turn to my nephew for the joy humans can only receive from a 4 year old kid.
Thank god for technology though,although there will be a difference,there won;t be any 'intimacy'.
ohwell.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEE

2011-08-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

SOOO SUPER HAPPY.
i lost 2.3 kg.
as much as it's little and all,
well it was just a small pick me up
that i reaaaaallyyy neeeeddded :D

when will this end

2011-08-02T22:29:00.000+08:00

How long will it take
Before these feelings go away
How much longer do I wait
And are there any real answers anyway

I miss you in everything
I was too fast traveling to take you in
I know silence is no crime
Just wish I could hear you fill it up one more time

And you said rise above
Open your eyes up
And you said rise above
But I can’t, I can’t

I don't have to cry about it,think about it,

or even say your name.

but deep down inside of me,i am torn

very much torn.

mooooves like jagger.

2011-07-31T20:05:00.000+08:00

Just shoot for the stars
If it feels right
Then aim for my heart
If you feel like
And take me away, make it okay
I swear I'll behave

Take me by the tongue
And I'll know you
Kiss me till you're drunk
And I'll show you
I don't need try to control youLook into my eyes and I'll own you
-

fuck lah

2011-07-29T00:55:00.002+08:00

somedays i wake up look at myself..

hear my thoughts.

and think fuck you nandini,

this shouldn't be happening to me.

fuck.

Can't fight it

2011-07-24T01:19:00.000+08:00

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times

2011-07-22T00:41:00.000+08:00

Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong

And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe

When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here.
-

Countless times i've been there to pick you up
Where are you now?

-

2011-07-20T21:51:00.000+08:00

"Nobody wants to admit to this, but bad things will keep on happening. Maybe that's beause it's all a chain, and a long time ago someone did the first bad thing, and that led someone else to do another bad thing, and so on.

You know, like that game where you whisper a sentence into someone's ear, and that person whispers it to someone else, and it all comes out wrong in the end.

But then again, maybe bad things happen because it's the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like."

-

2011-07-15T19:08:00.000+08:00

looking at the brighter side of life may not be easy.but sometimes it's all we have.

if all hope is lost,have a little faith

L

2011-07-13T00:24:00.001+08:00

If you're standing with your suitcase
But you can't step on the train
Everything's the way that you left it
I still haven't slept yet

And if you're covering your face now
But you just can't hide the pain
Still setting two plates on the counter
But eating without ya

If the truth is you're a liar
Then just say that you're okay
I'm sleepin' on your side of the bed
Goin' out of my head now

And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder
And I wish you could still give me a hard time
And I wish I could still wish it was over
But even if wishing is a waste of time
Even if I never crossed your mind

I'll leave the door on the latch
If you ever come back, if you ever come back
There'll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back

There'll be a smile on my face and the kettle on
And it will be just like you were never gone
There'll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back, if you ever come back now
Oh, if you ever come back, if you ever come back

-
Your move.

Second best

2011-07-07T21:41:00.000+08:00

The cutest guy can ask me out on a date,
i'd go but in my head i would keep comparing him
to you.
He could make me laugh and smile
but i'd still remember you were always better at doing this.
He could be there for me all the time
but he'd never be able to pacify me like how you could.

And it's not fair,that he's fucking perfect
but all i can think is he's second best
cos i've seen perfect
and i saw it in you :/

creep

2011-07-06T02:56:00.002+08:00

and someday's i wonder if you do :/

heartless

2011-06-29T22:05:00.000+08:00

You run and tell your friends that you're leavin' me
They say that they don't see what you see in me
You wait a couple months then you gon' see
You'll never find nobody better than me

In the night I hear 'em talk, the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul
To a woman so heartless
How could you be so heartless?
How could you be so heartless?

-

i have tried moving on with my life.i spoke to other people
got closer with other people.
and i allowed other people in,i gave this another chance.
then other people,took this opportunity to screw me over and fuck me up.
and now i don't know what to do.
and it's very painful.
and now i want you again.

sigh

2011-06-28T01:36:00.000+08:00

I thought back to the nights we walked down dusk-lit streets and extended our goodbyes as long as possible so that time became something that only applied to other people, as if we had uncovered the secret to evading the restraints that kept others at the mercy of hours and minutes and seconds; to the times we spoke on the phone, voices cracking over a crackling wireless connection, longing to be together, happy just to hear one another sigh .

life used to be so happy and good,with you

change

2011-06-11T23:26:00.000+08:00

I fear,abhor,loathe,hate

change;changing;changed

however you put it,

it scares me.yes i hate change and as much as possible

i prefer to live life without it.

ofcourse it's inevitable

you will face changes eventually, you don't really have a choice.

but i try my best to leave it out of my life.

somehow or rather i do it subconsciously.

i have been dressing the same way,acting the same way.

i have even been pushing away my opportunity to get a new and better job

just because i don't want to change job.

it's not that i am boring and do things in a routine manner.

honestly i do not wake up at like 7 am everyday and do the same thing everday,hell no.

but i guess in many aspects of my life i hate change.

because there's always that vulnerable feeling that if you change things may not go right.

i mean not all changes are for the best right.

i take risks but not all the time.

yes i need to be certain about a lot of things before

stepping into a certain situation.

cautious you may say.

but i guess i would rather be cautious than pick up myself

a million times and eventually get too tired to even bother.

here or there.

2011-06-10T22:22:00.000+08:00

i don't get how i keep ending up

in this gloomy endless pit of misery.

i just feel pissed off about something and bam!

i come back to thinking,

if things were different i wouldn't be like this.

and i know it may be better if everything was back to how it was

but i t definitely would be harder on me..

i am neither here nor am i ready to be there.

but you seem to have already moved off

and well fuck you.

lonely nights

2011-05-28T22:45:00.000+08:00

Nothing compares, no worries or cares.
Regret’s and mistakes they’re memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don’t forget me, I beg, I remembered you said:
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”.

why?why did you have to contact me again?why act concerned,

when the very next thing you told me killed me.

How can you forget me?

and why the fuck can't i forget you?

happy

2011-05-24T01:05:00.000+08:00

some people say happiness is not a choice

it's more of like luck in a way.

if you're lucky you aren't screwed if you aren't lucky..

well you know how that ends.

but i guess it depends on the individual,

how much you actually want to be happy.

cos some people love to wallow in self pity.

but i guess i've realized that

it's better to try and look at the brighter side of life

than say "why,why me?"

cos at the end of the day nobody's gonna answer that question for you.

and that's when you realize that

happiness comes to those who wants it

for those who opens their doors

or wake up in the morning

believing today will be a better day.

something to keep me going.

2011-05-22T20:46:00.000+08:00

You make people happy. It’s weird to think about—the idea that your presence could brighten someone’s day—but it happens. You being you makes other people excited and giddy. Cool, right? Now step away from the ledge…
-

given up

2011-05-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?

Take this all away
I'm suffocating!
Tell me what the heck is
Wrong with me?

sometimes i just feel like running away

from everything,humans basically.

run till i can't breathe

and then scream till i can't even,

stand on my own feet.

hmm

2011-05-14T01:23:00.000+08:00

Breaking up at a glance.

A week later, have the “talk” that ends your relationship. This may not be a “talk” at all; but it will be the acknowledgement that for whatever unspoken reasons, you are now broken up. Alone. Realize you knew better; that you saw this coming. Hate yourself...

Wake up, remember what happened the day before, sob. Get in the shower and stand so that you’re facing the water. This will create the illusion that you’re not crying. Blow your nose into your hands. Talk aloud; giving unsolicited responses to questions that no one is asking you because your “talk” was unsatisfying. Say what you need to say.

Take a Xanax and go to work. Resolve that you will not be taking your sunglasses off when you arrive. Dread telling anyone what happened, but hope that your clearly fragile emotional state will be enough to provoke HR to send you home early. When you arrive, don’t verbally respond to anything or anyone except when people ask if you’re okay. When people ask if you’re okay, say, “No.”.....

Leave work early. Sit in the park with your iPod on and skip any vaguely upbeat song in favor of something more… pathetic. Pick the songs you’re going to sing at karaoke later. Scowl at every couple that walks by and wonder why they cease their idle walking right in front of you in order to kiss and appreciate each other. Do this until it’s time to meet your friends for Ramen. When you see your friends, realize you don’t really want to talk about it. Realize you don’t actually know what happened. Order a drink....

Go home and sleep in your filth and desperation. Wake up and commit to a bender. Do this for a week. Get exhausted around Day 3, but know that if you slow down you’ll become aware of what you lost and that would hurt. Let your laundry pile up. Let half-empty glasses of stale water pile up. Quit shaving your legs. Know that no one will be confronted with your stale water or hairy legs so it doesn’t matter.

Have good moments. Have bad moments. Have weak moments. Have another drink.

full of false fronts and facades.well that's how we are used to living huh.

L

2011-05-11T14:26:00.000+08:00

like what you did.

Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again

I still press your letters to my lipsAnd cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your lights
But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself

And I won't listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
Ooh, my love was punished long ago
If you still care don't ever let me know

L

2011-05-08T17:45:00.000+08:00

"They could never love you as much as you loved them. Maybe they could for awhile but it didn’t last. You started to notice it while lying in bed together. Their body seemed far away even though it was right next to you and you knew that it was over. You could’ve gotten dressed right then and left, but you endured five more months of their body feeling far away. You hated them for not seeing in you what you saw in them."

i guess i never felt it then.

L

2011-05-08T02:29:00.001+08:00

I dont get it.
how can we talk on the phone to each other
for 30 mins,like how we used to after not speaking
to each other for weeks?
and honestly I felt emptier
and more drained after that call.

and why is it that when I am feeling
lonely do couples
do their PDA shit around me?
I mean are you like
fucking waiting for
me to do this shit or
is the space beside me reserved
only for lovey dovey couples.
get a fucking room.thank you,very nice.

daughters

2011-04-30T00:07:00.001+08:00

Lightning strikes

Inside, my chest to keep me up at night

Dream of ways

To make you understand my pain.

i don't get it

i am your kid too right?

but why am i always seen in a bad light.

its rather upsetting that no matter

how much i try,how much i work

i cannot make you happy.

well just for the record you can't make me happy too,

but i have never ever told you that to you

face to face now have i?

the why?why the need to make me feel

useless and lousy.its like the moment i wake up

you are just there to remind me,there's someone judging my every fucking move.

thinking how pathetic and useless i am no.

i am sick and tired of trying

if it seems like i am useless to you

well i cant give two fucks anymore,really.